Dive on in!

I'd been working on my Snarry Swap piece all day yesterday and I finally got some of it done to my satisfaction. I've got the base layer of Snape's face finished, so I'm really happy about that. Usually his face is the hardest to do and that's why I like to finish it first. I have the basic outline for the rest of his body drawn in, but I might change it.

I also tried to start on Harry's face, but although it was coming out prettily, the styles clashed too much. It wasn't cohesive at all. So I had to delete Harry and I'll have to start over again for him. It also looks like I'll have to resize the canvas. It's huge now, but as it is now there isn't enough room for Harry. I'll have to do something about that, but I'll probably stop tonight and try it again tomorrow.

I've been feeling horrible all day. My ear on my left side is completely plugged up and I've been having trouble hearing what people are saying to me. Instead of getting better as I'd hoped, my cold has gotten worse. I had a runny nose briefly earlier last night and now it's stopped up, so it's hard to breathe. And to top it off I have a throat full of mucus and a painful hacking cough. ARGH!

I've been taking vitamin C and lozenges and cough syrup and it doesn't seem to be doing much of anything for my cold. I ran out of lozenges tonight, so I have to get more tomorrow and I'd really rather just stay in bed, feeling miserable.

I have to wait until Monday to call the doctor again and see what he can do about the ears at least. The medicine I'm using hasn't helped and it's been several days now. Right now I feel congested in so many ways it's not funny. I'm really, really upset because I don't know if I'll be able to get any sleep like this. It's just starting Sunday :(

So..... I've been working on my Snarry Swap piece, starting on the characters first, then planning to do the background last (because that's how I work atm). I started with Snape and haven't gotten to Harry yet, but omg, I think I must be going nuts. I look at the work I've done and I love it and I hate it all at the same time. I keep struggling to tell myself that I can go over it and fix the issues later, but there's this niggling feeling that it might not turn out better. It might get worse.

I wanted something specific and in doing it, it currently looks so wrong (and not in the naughty way either). Right now he looks a bit like a woman. A not pretty woman, but there's that slight softness even though his features are definitely hard. Perhaps it's the lips, which I darkened a bit too much by accident. Or maybe it's the fact that I haven't painted in the darker areas such as eyelashes, eyebrows and hair. It's seriously bugging me.

That and I got medicine for my ear, but unexpectedly it's kind of plugged one side up somehow. I'm not sure what happened there, but I can't hear out of that side so clearly. I think it probably needs to drain more. AND the cold. ARGH! I keep coughing on my screen >.< I can't wait until this cold is gone.

I took some cough syrup because I was coughing so much, but I didn't have anything I could fix to snack with it. So now I'm feeling the usual pain I get when I take a medicine without food. :( And I'm pretty sure I have an ear infection, too, now. Tonight's gonna be hellish.

Yay! I am now well through the halfway point and I'm still managing to get everything done on schedule. Now I just have to worry about the Snarry Smut Swap piece (which I *really* want to be grand and ambitious, so I'm already a bit nervous about it) until it's time to turn it in. Then all through December or after I finish the Smut Swap piece, whichever comes first, I'll focus on the Harry Potter Bang art.

Here's the schedule now:
severusbigbang art: November 15th
snarry_holidays art: November 16th
snarry_swap art: December 14th
Harry Potter Bang art: January 10th

But while I'm working on the snarry_swap, I still have to choose the story to illustrate for the Harry Potter Bang on lj. The day to make the decision will be the 20th -- three days away. So I'll need to make up my mind quick and choose before someone else takes all the ones I might be willing to do.

There is, of course, the Scorpius & Rose gen fic, the Remus/Harry fic, and the Remus/Harry/Sirius fic. I don't know if I could manage the Scorpius & Rose one because I'm seriously not used to drawing young people of that age. It may come down to the plot we'll have to choose from.

I finally sent in my snarry_holidays artwork. I have a sore throat now and I'm waiting for the pharmacy to open.

I just realized I named the second piece of art I sent in for the severusbigbang very weirdly. I was just so tired, I couldn't think. Still, it's better than the obnoxious one word title I couldn't get out of my head that I hated. It sounded like a title to some silly romance novel. *shudder*

I'm also a bit sad about the snarry_holidays piece I turned in. The background kind of bugs me. I just wish I'd done something different for that background now, but between this and the SBB, I didn't really have the time for that and I hadn't thought to ask for extensions. It's probably best that I didn't ask for an extension. I have one more fest to go and I need to start on it today!

It's 9:30 p.m. now and I'm still working on the severusbigbang art. It looks like I'll only manage to turn in two since the second one is taking so long. I have a third that's mostly finished, but would still take too much time to finish.

I've been working to a marathon of Never Mind the Buzzcocks, and right now I just have Snape's hair to finish. I think I might skip the additional lighting detail I was going to do because right now I'm feeling sick and it'll probably get worse soon. Ugh.

11:15 edit: Finally finished and sent in. I named it at the last minute. Probably something really stupid because I'm so tired, but right about now I don't care. I was really upset to find that the tiny pinpoint stars I'd carefully placed disappeared in the resizing. I had to go back and put them back, but it's sloppy because I was exhausted and I'm really not happy with the stars as they are now. They don't look right to me. I wish I could have done more with Snape's hair, too, but oh well.

Feeling abdominal pain right now and unfortunately, tomorrow morning I have to get up and get my medicine from the pharmacy.

Well, it's Saturday and I *still* have a bit more work to do. I think I can just get it finished in time. Well, I'm hoping so anyways. Right now I'm just exhausted.

Beast has jumped up on my desk and is now in full Godzilla mode, demanding attention by knocking things off the desk and surrounding tables, laying on the keyboard, and blocking the monitor. I've had to move my camera because she tried to headbutt it off the edge of the desk. She's already kicked my chapstick somewhere under the desk and now I have to find it. u.u;

Okay, I think I might've got the basic majority of Harry's knickers on. It's really been awkward because I've never actually seen a man wearing girls' panties outside of yaoi manga. Yeah, I know, I'm so deprived.

So, with no willing model I'm having to do a bit of guesswork and just hoping it turns out. *crosses fingers*

Also, I'm terrified to say I haven't even started my Snarry Swap art. That was mainly because I wanted to do it without Snarry Hols and Severus Big Bang. Probably a good idea seeing as how Snarry Hols and Severus Big Bang have been really difficult to finish all together. ^^; I'm hoping in the time frame and with the chance to focus solely on it, I'll finish the Snarry Swap piece in good time. And hopefully with more time to focus on it alone, I'll be more satisfied with the end result. I've had to rush the other two a bit and I did waste some time starting pieces that I couldn't all finish, heh.

I still have a headache over one eye and it's pretty irritating because I'm in a rush to finish my artwork on the computer, but this is making it a bit difficult. I thought it might be dry eye or allergies and I'd tried eye drops for both (not all at once), but that only resulted in a stinging sensation. So annoying. So the headache's probably got a little something to do with the weather, which has been miserable lately and very rainy. And the one eye is tender. I might try to put an ice pack over it later.

This is really not what I want. I'd much rather be able to spend the day finishing up my artwork for Severus Big Bang, but I'm having to limit my time on the computer because it's exacerbating the problem. I'm reluctant to take some migraine medicine because I already took some the day before yesterday and the day before that, and I don't want a rebound headache. But if it gets too bad I might just have to take it.

Gods, I want this to go away so bad.

Blargh. I have a headache and I wish it'd go away.

Earlier I went to the library, hoping I could find something nice to check out and read. Usually I check the catalogue before I go, to find books I might want, but this time I didn't do that. So I only checked out one book and I'm not very sure I'll like it. *sigh* It's so hard finding good fiction.

I guess I'll have to look around for some good books to read before I go next time.

Oh! And when I was getting ready to go home I saw a great white egret flying overhead. It was gorgeous! Egrets and herons fly over a lot, but it never fails to amaze me how graceful they look. I wish I'd had my camera, but it was drizzling, so it wouldn't have come out well anyways.

It's *finally* done! You cannot imagine the huge sense of relief I have now that I've finished it. Now I don't have to keep working on it anymore~~~~

I feel so much better now that I've gotten that out of the way. It was just taking such an unbelievably long time and I'm still not sure why. I've spent whole nights just working on one character's hair and some other coloring. That seems insane. Where does all the time go? I start at 11 p.m. and when I look up it's 4:30 a.m.! Gah!

But now I can decide on the other stuff to do and what all to work on for SeverusBigBang. I also must start my Snarry Swap picture asap, too. I have an idea what I'll do for that already, so I sincerely hope it won't go the same way the Snarry Holidays piece did.

Yup, I'm bored. I want to read Snarry, but I've read everything (even all the stuff posted this morning) and I'm craving more. I find it really, really hard to find a Snarry I haven't read. So for the first time I find myself without a Snarry fanfic to read. I've read pretty much everything (stories I liked, stories I hated, stories that were so awful I couldn't finish them and had to go complain to a friend about it, ect.) and it's still pretty fresh in my mind, even the old stuff.

It takes me 5+ years to forget some stuff I read in a book. With fanfiction, I just have to read the first little paragraph to completely remember the whole thing. And I'm getting tired of re-reading stories twenty times and so on (and it's actually rare when I do reread a story, but there's a select few I do).

Oh yeah, and I want my dad to stop e-mailing me chain e-mails and unfunny forwarded jokes. I got 5 yesterday alone! I keep having to delete them and every single day he sends them and then asks me what I thought. The worst are the ones having to do with Obama somehow starting Armageddon through healthcare and the other Armageddon-related stuff he insists I read. I'm pretty darn sick of hearing about Armageddon, I don't want it to start turning up in my e-mail inbox. >.<;

I got so much done on the fanart front this morning, too. *sigh*

Title: Living in the Past
Author: vividzephyr
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 404
Warnings: Some DH spoilers (but still EWE), canon character death mentioned.
Summary: Harry finds himself sharing living quarters with the man he wants.
A/N: Written for the severus_sighs canon!Snape challenge. Don't worry about the title and warnings, they're not signs that you'd be depressed after reading this. :)


Living in the Past

I love the Sundance Channel. If there's nothing on and it's 2 a.m. or anytime in the morning before 6 a.m. it's guaranteed to be airing at least something watchable. Tonight I watched the Korean horror Cello for the first time (wasn't that good), then the French horror Ils (i.e. Them, which WAS very good), and the comedic short film West Bank Story (which I love).

I've seen a lot of asian horror. There's a completely different perspective that you don't find in American horror, but lately the horror films haven't been very good. I think the only Korean horror films I liked were A Tale of Two Sisters and Tell me Something. The second isn't really much of a horror, but more a thriller. Oh, and Memories of Murder, which is another good Korean thriller, imo.

As for Ils, well, in one movie a very limited cast does what Hollywood's too incompetent to do EVER. I just can't stand Hollywood horror films. They all have this basic standard formula that makes everything they tend to put out all the same. Even their remakes, which always fail to be any better than the original! Hollywood should just die, imo. I can't stand it. It hardly ever puts out anything remotely good. I honestly don't understand how people can like seeing the same crap repackaged over and over again. That goes from Rom Coms, Action films, and horror that Hollywood puts out. Even the actors sort of blend together in one uselessly shoddy group of uninspiring and vaguely good-looking men. None of them take my breath away or stand out.

You know, I was watching 30 Days of Night the other night and I couldn't figure out who the hell it was that I was watching. Was it Brad Pitt? Was it Matt Damon? What about that other guy, oh whatshisname? I can't even honestly remember his name. No. It was none of the above. Hah. That's how these actors tend to be with me, unless it's clear who's starring from the beginning, I never know because they ALL LOOK THE SAME! Ugh. It was actually Josh Hartnett who I didn't think of at all.

Ils didn't have sex and didn't have much gore in it, but it still kept me riveted. It pulled me in more than ANY Hollywood horror has EVER done. That's because the characters seemed very real and you never saw what or who was after them really well until the end and by then the horror of discovering WHO was doing all this and why really grips you. It's brilliant even with a few minor plot holes and some predictability. It claims to be based on a true story, but there's no proof of that. So likely it isn't. Still, it really does make it just that much better to think of it that way. It was really good. It just shows how terrible Hollywood horror films are. If you watched Ils next to something like Friday the 13th, Saw, or some other "scary" movie, you'd have to be insane not to appreciate Ils far more than those other movies.

I'm just disgusted with the American film industry by large. I cannot remember the last time I ever watched an American movie I liked. It must've been a decade ago or so now. None of it even remotely appeals to me.

Anyways, I'll post a link to my Snarry drabble with a little note later on today.

Well, I'm still really sick. I've got a cold and a headache all at once and it's not pleasant. I've had a really difficult time trying to work on the fest art and I'm really ready to just half-assedly finish the Snarry Holidays art after going through so many different things with it and messing up each time in the past few days. But I really would rather not do that. I just want to finish a nice picture for the fests and so far none of the artwork is really appealing to me like I want. *sigh*

I think the cold is definitely getting me down right now. It has me feeling very frustrated and unhappy.

I still have to start the last bit of artwork I need to do. I probably shouldn't have signed up for so many fests. I really didn't think about getting sick at all when I did. Still, I think I'll be able to finish everything. It just won't be as good as I'd like.

I've had a cold for the past two days and I haven't felt well at all today. I haven't been able to get much done, and I'm out of orange juice, too. :( Though I did find a friend who was willing to check over my ficlet for the severus_sighs challenge. I'm not really sure if she's good with grammar and stuff, though, heh.

Urgh. I hate colds.

I just finished my Severus *Sighs* challenge ficlet and I don't have a beta atm. Anyone up for some beta reading? It's a Snarry. The word count's at 1,943.

If not I'll have to wait until much later today or tonight and pester my Mom to be my Beta. Can you imagine that? For Beta I'd have to put something like "Beta: My Mom. No, really.". And I'd do that, too.

Anyways, I haven't thought up a title atm. It's like 3:17 a.m. and my brain is frozen. I'm lucky I managed to write it at all. I'm more of a visual person, so finding the words to write things is kind of difficult for me.

I'm thinking of taking on the recent Severus *Sighs* Challenge. It can't be fanart, sadly, but that's okay since I have my hands full with artworks at this very moment. So somebodies will have to be subjected to my writing. I apologize in advance, lol.

Still, I have this idea that's always kind of been there and that I haven't really had the chance to do anything with. The only thing really is the word limit. It'll be a bit hard to fit it in~ But I think if I work a little on it I'll make it stick. Then there'll just be to post it to the IJ Severus *Sighs* comm. I want points! XD

It is 11 p.m. now and I just found out I had two commission orders. Wha? Whatever happened to letting me know these things on the same day they're made? And of course they're both traditional art. Geh.

I can't tell you how insecure I feel when trying to do traditional art. I think it's only through sheer tenacity that I manage to finish any traditional paintings. They just intimidate me so, so much. But the cheapest one will be $400. It's money... and I do need it. *sigh* There's so much to do and it all seems like it's piling up on me all of a sudden.

Of course, if it were digital stuff I'd feel fine. I'm confident with that. It's easier to fix a problem with that, so I don't have to feel anxious when I work. With painting, if I mess up and I try to fix it and mess it up more somehow it makes me very depressed and it causes me to come to a complete halt. It saps my courage to go on for a bit. I can't allow that, but I have to find a way to fix things myself without running to the other traditional artists around here. It makes me feel like such a kid. Which isn't helped by the fact that I'm the youngest member in the Friday meetings.

Holy snap, it's suddenly gotten a fan following. I've liked that series for years and I'm pretty sure the last time I looked there were few Japanese fan sites and only one Gilbert x Oz fansite. That was well into the series, even. Now there's over 100 Gil x Oz/Oz x Gil fansites alone. I think I've found heaven. There's even Gil x Oz doujinshi!! Oh gods, I'm in raptures. I want them so bad.

This is what being made into an anime always does to a series. I wonder if I looked for Yoite x Miharu doujinshis now maybe I'd find one? I was always sad Nabari no Ou's fans didn't do much of anything in that way.

I loved how Gil changed after Oz was sent to the abyss. I don't think I could handle a crybaby for the whole of the series. And he became so much more likable. I think it's funny because of how Gil's looks changed after the 10 years. And I suspect that Oz will end up looking like Jack when he ages. I'd love to see that.

So now I want to buy doujinshi even more :( There's no really cheap way to do it since the dollar's gone down and shipping's always at least half the cost (probably more than half, so what used to be $75 would now be closer to $90, I bet). I did get some extra money from a job, and I could use that, but then again I could try and stockpile it up to try to get enough money for Infinitus. I'm wavering on the latter because I don't want to go alone. If I can convince someone I know very well to go with me I'd feel much better about the trip. So far I haven't gotten any confirmation from the ppl I've asked if they're serious about it. I don't want to get tickets and stuff if I'm not certain of it. *sigh*