Dive on in!

It's *finally* done! You cannot imagine the huge sense of relief I have now that I've finished it. Now I don't have to keep working on it anymore~~~~

I feel so much better now that I've gotten that out of the way. It was just taking such an unbelievably long time and I'm still not sure why. I've spent whole nights just working on one character's hair and some other coloring. That seems insane. Where does all the time go? I start at 11 p.m. and when I look up it's 4:30 a.m.! Gah!

But now I can decide on the other stuff to do and what all to work on for SeverusBigBang. I also must start my Snarry Swap picture asap, too. I have an idea what I'll do for that already, so I sincerely hope it won't go the same way the Snarry Holidays piece did.

Yup, I'm bored. I want to read Snarry, but I've read everything (even all the stuff posted this morning) and I'm craving more. I find it really, really hard to find a Snarry I haven't read. So for the first time I find myself without a Snarry fanfic to read. I've read pretty much everything (stories I liked, stories I hated, stories that were so awful I couldn't finish them and had to go complain to a friend about it, ect.) and it's still pretty fresh in my mind, even the old stuff.

It takes me 5+ years to forget some stuff I read in a book. With fanfiction, I just have to read the first little paragraph to completely remember the whole thing. And I'm getting tired of re-reading stories twenty times and so on (and it's actually rare when I do reread a story, but there's a select few I do).

Oh yeah, and I want my dad to stop e-mailing me chain e-mails and unfunny forwarded jokes. I got 5 yesterday alone! I keep having to delete them and every single day he sends them and then asks me what I thought. The worst are the ones having to do with Obama somehow starting Armageddon through healthcare and the other Armageddon-related stuff he insists I read. I'm pretty darn sick of hearing about Armageddon, I don't want it to start turning up in my e-mail inbox. >.<;

I got so much done on the fanart front this morning, too. *sigh*

Title: Living in the Past
Author: vividzephyr
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 404
Warnings: Some DH spoilers (but still EWE), canon character death mentioned.
Summary: Harry finds himself sharing living quarters with the man he wants.
A/N: Written for the severus_sighs canon!Snape challenge. Don't worry about the title and warnings, they're not signs that you'd be depressed after reading this. :)


Living in the Past

I love the Sundance Channel. If there's nothing on and it's 2 a.m. or anytime in the morning before 6 a.m. it's guaranteed to be airing at least something watchable. Tonight I watched the Korean horror Cello for the first time (wasn't that good), then the French horror Ils (i.e. Them, which WAS very good), and the comedic short film West Bank Story (which I love).

I've seen a lot of asian horror. There's a completely different perspective that you don't find in American horror, but lately the horror films haven't been very good. I think the only Korean horror films I liked were A Tale of Two Sisters and Tell me Something. The second isn't really much of a horror, but more a thriller. Oh, and Memories of Murder, which is another good Korean thriller, imo.

As for Ils, well, in one movie a very limited cast does what Hollywood's too incompetent to do EVER. I just can't stand Hollywood horror films. They all have this basic standard formula that makes everything they tend to put out all the same. Even their remakes, which always fail to be any better than the original! Hollywood should just die, imo. I can't stand it. It hardly ever puts out anything remotely good. I honestly don't understand how people can like seeing the same crap repackaged over and over again. That goes from Rom Coms, Action films, and horror that Hollywood puts out. Even the actors sort of blend together in one uselessly shoddy group of uninspiring and vaguely good-looking men. None of them take my breath away or stand out.

You know, I was watching 30 Days of Night the other night and I couldn't figure out who the hell it was that I was watching. Was it Brad Pitt? Was it Matt Damon? What about that other guy, oh whatshisname? I can't even honestly remember his name. No. It was none of the above. Hah. That's how these actors tend to be with me, unless it's clear who's starring from the beginning, I never know because they ALL LOOK THE SAME! Ugh. It was actually Josh Hartnett who I didn't think of at all.

Ils didn't have sex and didn't have much gore in it, but it still kept me riveted. It pulled me in more than ANY Hollywood horror has EVER done. That's because the characters seemed very real and you never saw what or who was after them really well until the end and by then the horror of discovering WHO was doing all this and why really grips you. It's brilliant even with a few minor plot holes and some predictability. It claims to be based on a true story, but there's no proof of that. So likely it isn't. Still, it really does make it just that much better to think of it that way. It was really good. It just shows how terrible Hollywood horror films are. If you watched Ils next to something like Friday the 13th, Saw, or some other "scary" movie, you'd have to be insane not to appreciate Ils far more than those other movies.

I'm just disgusted with the American film industry by large. I cannot remember the last time I ever watched an American movie I liked. It must've been a decade ago or so now. None of it even remotely appeals to me.

Anyways, I'll post a link to my Snarry drabble with a little note later on today.

Well, I'm still really sick. I've got a cold and a headache all at once and it's not pleasant. I've had a really difficult time trying to work on the fest art and I'm really ready to just half-assedly finish the Snarry Holidays art after going through so many different things with it and messing up each time in the past few days. But I really would rather not do that. I just want to finish a nice picture for the fests and so far none of the artwork is really appealing to me like I want. *sigh*

I think the cold is definitely getting me down right now. It has me feeling very frustrated and unhappy.

I still have to start the last bit of artwork I need to do. I probably shouldn't have signed up for so many fests. I really didn't think about getting sick at all when I did. Still, I think I'll be able to finish everything. It just won't be as good as I'd like.

I've had a cold for the past two days and I haven't felt well at all today. I haven't been able to get much done, and I'm out of orange juice, too. :( Though I did find a friend who was willing to check over my ficlet for the severus_sighs challenge. I'm not really sure if she's good with grammar and stuff, though, heh.

Urgh. I hate colds.

I just finished my Severus *Sighs* challenge ficlet and I don't have a beta atm. Anyone up for some beta reading? It's a Snarry. The word count's at 1,943.

If not I'll have to wait until much later today or tonight and pester my Mom to be my Beta. Can you imagine that? For Beta I'd have to put something like "Beta: My Mom. No, really.". And I'd do that, too.

Anyways, I haven't thought up a title atm. It's like 3:17 a.m. and my brain is frozen. I'm lucky I managed to write it at all. I'm more of a visual person, so finding the words to write things is kind of difficult for me.

I'm thinking of taking on the recent Severus *Sighs* Challenge. It can't be fanart, sadly, but that's okay since I have my hands full with artworks at this very moment. So somebodies will have to be subjected to my writing. I apologize in advance, lol.

Still, I have this idea that's always kind of been there and that I haven't really had the chance to do anything with. The only thing really is the word limit. It'll be a bit hard to fit it in~ But I think if I work a little on it I'll make it stick. Then there'll just be to post it to the IJ Severus *Sighs* comm. I want points! XD

It is 11 p.m. now and I just found out I had two commission orders. Wha? Whatever happened to letting me know these things on the same day they're made? And of course they're both traditional art. Geh.

I can't tell you how insecure I feel when trying to do traditional art. I think it's only through sheer tenacity that I manage to finish any traditional paintings. They just intimidate me so, so much. But the cheapest one will be $400. It's money... and I do need it. *sigh* There's so much to do and it all seems like it's piling up on me all of a sudden.

Of course, if it were digital stuff I'd feel fine. I'm confident with that. It's easier to fix a problem with that, so I don't have to feel anxious when I work. With painting, if I mess up and I try to fix it and mess it up more somehow it makes me very depressed and it causes me to come to a complete halt. It saps my courage to go on for a bit. I can't allow that, but I have to find a way to fix things myself without running to the other traditional artists around here. It makes me feel like such a kid. Which isn't helped by the fact that I'm the youngest member in the Friday meetings.

Holy snap, it's suddenly gotten a fan following. I've liked that series for years and I'm pretty sure the last time I looked there were few Japanese fan sites and only one Gilbert x Oz fansite. That was well into the series, even. Now there's over 100 Gil x Oz/Oz x Gil fansites alone. I think I've found heaven. There's even Gil x Oz doujinshi!! Oh gods, I'm in raptures. I want them so bad.

This is what being made into an anime always does to a series. I wonder if I looked for Yoite x Miharu doujinshis now maybe I'd find one? I was always sad Nabari no Ou's fans didn't do much of anything in that way.

I loved how Gil changed after Oz was sent to the abyss. I don't think I could handle a crybaby for the whole of the series. And he became so much more likable. I think it's funny because of how Gil's looks changed after the 10 years. And I suspect that Oz will end up looking like Jack when he ages. I'd love to see that.

So now I want to buy doujinshi even more :( There's no really cheap way to do it since the dollar's gone down and shipping's always at least half the cost (probably more than half, so what used to be $75 would now be closer to $90, I bet). I did get some extra money from a job, and I could use that, but then again I could try and stockpile it up to try to get enough money for Infinitus. I'm wavering on the latter because I don't want to go alone. If I can convince someone I know very well to go with me I'd feel much better about the trip. So far I haven't gotten any confirmation from the ppl I've asked if they're serious about it. I don't want to get tickets and stuff if I'm not certain of it. *sigh*

Last night I started another fanart painting. If I can finish it in time, I'll probably send it in to the Severus Big Bang fest. It's a Snarry, of course, and I think it's the best Snarry I've worked on for the SBB so far.

Right now I'm not sure which pictures will be sent in to that, but I think some of the Snarry fanarts likely won't make it in time. Ditto with some of the Snape only art. I've got a lot of unfinished pieces, but that's because I've got a lot of ideas bombarding me. Most of it's sketched out.

As for this picture, it's got B/D (not so much S&M unless you squint your eyes and look really hard) and crossdressing. Harry's practically finished as he's always been the easiest to work on, but I'm still working on Snape. This time I made a skin color file for my mixer pad and I've been dipping into and mixing the colors I'd put there. I really like it, so I'll probably use it a lot more.

It's for the DCSlashRetreat challenge: Snape has a poodle animagus! I wouldn't say it's remotely slashy, but I think it's funny and a bit cute. I was snickering when I drew Snape's expression, but Harry's dazed googly eyes made me laugh a little.

Title: This was NOT what I had in mind!
Artist: vividzephyr
Characters: Severus Snape, Harry Potter
Rating: G
Summary: Harry's and Severus's animagus transformations don't quite turn out as they had hoped.

This was NOT what I had in mind!

Well, I've gotten Snape's pose largely drawn out and I'm satisfied with it. What's bothering me is how much time this has taken to do. It's just been so difficult finding the right ideas to come together in the right perspective. How to illustrate an idea in a way that's sexy and tells a story? It doesn't always come together right away for me. I tend to jump in without a thought and just draw, draw, draw until I get where I want. Unfortunately, deadlines freak me out a bit. I always want to be done well ahead of time. So I want to finish the rough sketch tomorrow and be working on the colors right after so I can go back to my Severus Big Bang works that aren't finished yet.

It's raining here, and I'm planning to spend the rest of the day on my Snarry Hols picture. Hopefully I'll finish it soon, but I do have to save it at regular intervals because for the past three days in a row the power has been going out every once in a while. For Louisiana, this isn't unusual, but I bet anywhere else it would be. Yesterday the wind was gusting so violently it pulled of some pretty big branches from the trees. Our cypress in the back looks like it's going to have a tough fall this year. It hasn't really had a good year since the last hurricane nearly destroyed it. I hope it doesn't die, though. I really love cypresses.

Anyways, I'm feeling a bit depressed at the moment. I was doing a acrylic painting and I decided to work on it when I was feeling really bad. Bad idea. It's not ruined, but it is a mess and now each time I look at it I can't help but feel a bit despairing. I know artists say "you can paint over it, don't worry!", but it's trying to figure out HOW to paint over that part that's bothering me. It's now darker than the rest of the area and I'll have to do several layers to lighten it back up. First I have to finish correcting the subject matter. *sigh*

Well, now I know not to work when I'm feeling very sick. It does seem to affect my work a great deal.

Oh, darn. I have a doctor's appointment today and I got no sleep last night, lol.

Anyways, started on two new Snape/Snarry drawings. I'm working on backgrounds for them both. And I've gone through several incarnations of the Snarry Hols artwork. Gaaah. I'll try and drop everything else and work exclusively on that today or tonight when I get time. Right now I can't seem to get it quite right. Hmm.

I should post more artwork soon, but so far everything's either incomplete original art or will likely go towards one of the fests I'm working on. I just really need to get my Snarry Hols assignment done before I feel like I can devote more time towards extra fanart.

I was googling Kojima Ayami, and I wanted to know if she had a personal site and gallery aside from Galleria Arch. There isn't anything, disappointingly, but there's a few small fan galleries with scans of her various artwork, most notably her work on the Castlevania games series for which she is most famous. I have an issue of Comickers that features her Castlevania art in it. I've always really loved her style. Her men are especially good-looking and her portraits have a sort of macabre elegance to them that I love very much. I would so love to see her do a fanart of Snape. I think if she ever did one, it'd be absolutely brilliant.

I should get one of my scans of her artwork and make it into another icon to use.

Last night I started/finished my first completed Severus Big Bang piece. One down, at least two more to go. I've got several other unfinished pieces as well to work on. I don't know how fast those will go. I expect to successfully complete my assignments for that, but I don't know if I'll be able to post anything really great. Sometimes being rushed helps, other times it just makes the pictures that much more unsatisfactory to me.

I've got a lot more work to do today.

Okay, so it's the 2nd, not the 1st, but close enough. My latest artwork is a thank you gift art to alisanne and bethbethbeth, both wonderful leaders of Team Cauldron.

Title: Spellbinding
Artist: vividzephyr
Rating: PG
Summary: Harry and Severus craft a magical bond in the Forbidden Forest.

For SeverusBigBang, that is. Actually, I sent in descriptions of about a dozen Snape/Snarry fanarts I've recently started. Added to that is my Snarryhols pic which is sitting here half finished. They're all in various states of completion. I expect I'll easily have three ready for the deadline. The Snarryhols pic is worrying me a bit. I've been staying away from the computer mostly because one eye is itchy and watery and is basically giving me a headache. The light from the screen hurts it. I hope it passes soon. I've had too many problems all of a sudden.

I want to get everything finished soon!

Hopefully my headache will be gone by then. I have a killer headache right now and so far the medicine I've taken hasn't done much to make it any better.

I'm working on a new commission (traditional media/acrylic on canvas) again. I'm also working on my SnarryHols and SeverusBigBang pieces. I'm very unsatisfied with my current SnarryHols piece, so I might make a style change and jump to a less realistic style to get what I want done or just change the piece altogether! I really thought I had something there. At least for research I'm going to spoil myself by cruising the Japanese Lamento fansites. That'll be fun.

I've also got a piece I'm iffy on. Do I *really* want to do a Bellatrix portrait? Or do I want to turn it into an original piece? I'm torn. I kind of want to make it an original piece, but I had in mind a rather sinister woman like Bellatrix when I started it. Decisions, decisions. Maybe I'll make two versions to satisfy myself. Even if I don't like Bellatrix, I'm tempted to do it.

And a reminder: new art soon! But it's a surprise. And tomorrow I'll e-mail where I am currently to the SeverusBigBang mods. I have a few half finished pieces, some concept fanarts, and some pieces that are really new. I may have to just pick and choose two or three. I don't know if I have the time for more than that.